« Back to Issue 35

Befriending Death

Reviewed by Stephen Henwood.

We live in what has often been described as a death-denying society. By this we mean people give little thought to one of the few certainties in life. Ignoring death does not mean it will disappear, but it is something that will happen a long way in the future.

This slim volume encourages the reader to buck the trend, to befriend death and “open the door of living by engaging with the unknown.” Woodward introduces several major themes briefly, but lack of space prevents adequate discussion and reflection. For example, the subject of breaking bad news seems to cover both the teller and receiver in a few pages. This complex and enormously important subject deserves better handling. Again, there is confusion with the pages covering preparation for death. Here the author tells stories of individuals who are facing the prospect of their own death and finishes with an exercise on “seeing my own death”. This shift in focus requires careful handling as this exercise often raises questions which, from my experience, will require pastoral support and help.  

Finally, there is a useful section where readers are challenged to think about their funeral, followed by suggestions of what to do when someone we know has died. However, too many issues are covered, with the result we have bullet points rather than detailed discussion.

On the positive side, there is useful material which could be used by pastors who wish to help their church members gain confidence in giving meaningful pastoral care to the dying and the bereaved. This is an area where churches often lack the courage to care, and we need books like this so that the needs of the bereaved are met.